For July Jim Hilton

Keywords   glowering     listless  compatriot

Easy Money

Well, it shoulda been a sweet deal, easy money, ya know?  My buddy Jake was kinda in the business of re-po’ing cars, in a part-time way, and needed a little help.  The finance company that was paying him didn’t much care who did the job as long as their cars were returned when a deadbeat defaulted on a loan.  Oh yes, it could be exciting, so Jake was telling me, but this particular car shouldn’t be no problem a’tall.  Some kid had bought it off the lot and then lost his burger-flippin’ job, whatever, and was way behind in them payments.  Young kid, should be easy.

Jake had to take the big tow truck over to the other end of town to drag in a Cadillac from a somewhat rougher neighborhood, and that left me with the makeshift pickup tow rig.  No power lift or anything, just a straight puller.  I was hopin’ that the car wasn’t tucked in somewhere so’s I couldn’t tie on to it.

It got to be pretty late, so I drove over to the address Jake gave me and I went on past it, real slow, to give it the once-over.  I saw the old Buick sitting in the driveway, and that was my target for tonight.  There was one street light about half a block away, just enough light to help me get hooked up, but just dark enough that maybe nobody would see me while I was workin’.

I came back up the street, real slow again, my headlights off, and made sure that the house was dark. I pulled over to the curb, then backed slowly into the driveway, leaving a little space between me and the Buick so I could get hooked up.  I got out and started trailing out my towing chains on the ground, being as quiet as I could.

I was lying on the ground, up under the back of that Buick, when I heard the low growl, very close.  I immediately stopped what I was doing and froze.  Another growl, with some snarling thrown in.  My legs were right out there where he could start mincing them whenever he was ready.  Sweat was rolling down my face and down my back; that dog had all my attention, as I’m sure I had his.  I slowly crept out from under, trying not to make any sudden movements.

As I rolled over I came face to face with a good-sized Rottweiler.  A glowering Rottweiler, if you can believe that.  Nothing listless about this guy, he was all-a quiver, and ready to munch down on a repo guy.  I slowly rose to my knees and began to try to make friends with the black-and-tan alligator facing me.  I pleaded, “My compatriot, my compadre, mi amigo, let’s think about this.”  He edged closer, drooling, fangs exposed.

It was about then that the next-door lady came out on her porch and began calling, “Oh, Muffy, din-din, where are you, Muffy?”  The tyrannosaurus snapped to attention, then ran to the nice lady on the porch, ready for his meal.

I nervously hooked up the last chain and snatched the Buick out of the driveway.  I didn’t slow down until I was a good mile away.

Yessir that was the hardest easy money I ever did make.

 

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About Jim Hilton

Just having a good time writing about our little adventures.
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